The World According to Craig

Jacob Marley A.K.A Goofy

Last night I had a very interesting dream. In it I was visited by three spirits all claiming to be from different chapters of my life.

The first was The Ghost of Christmas Groeder. He appeared out of nowhere riding a new Schwinn Ten Speed. "Hell yeah, kid, hell yeah. I just stole this bike. I'm rolling my ass off right now Let's go rip down a sign post" He then told me that if I didn't order a wheel he was going to throw me across the room. I promised him that as soon as I awoke I would order the Domino's 555 deal. He told me that wasn't good enough. He wanted the 2 Large Pizzas for $9.99 from Wildcat. I compromised with him and agreed to order the sicilian pizza from DHOP. He said that he was going to leave, but before he did he wanted to teach me a lesson. The lesson? Verbatim. "Don't ever take the History of Espionage. It's killer." He then proceeded to light up a cigarette and beat his chest like Grape Ape.

The second was The Ghost of Christmas Klaw. He also appeared out of nowhere, but was riding on a big wheel as opposed to a stolen ten speed. He was wearing a large hat that appeared to be a dunce cap and a large bag of kitty litter. The hat actually turned out to be a Green Foam Celtics hat signed by Danny Ainge and Dennis Johnson. "What's up dude? Wanna go to a ZBT party." I declined. He understood and told me that he would like to leave me with a lesson as well. "Never throw your puke stained sheets into your shower or you might end up with a flooded basement." He also lit up a cigarette, but instead of beating his chest he changed into a pair of Syracuse wind pants and walked away. (swish swish swish swish)

The third spirit was The Ghost of Cold Coffee. He apparently appeared, but I was unable to see him. All I saw was the outline of a figure and the sound of a sniffling nose. He said that he was from the future and that he could give me information that would alter the course of history. He explained that after shutting down my blog the world was unable to grow vegetables. He was unable to explain the reason behind it, but I took his word for it. He told me that it wasn't too late to change the course of history. If I updated my blog before the clock struck midnight, the world would once again be able to grow vegetables.

I hope I'm not too late.

posted by Craig Geiger @ 6:09 PM